My Husband's Mistress

So I’m downloading a few photos I recently took and look at what I found on the camera. Pictures my husband obviously didn’t want me to see…of his true love…his damn truck! First of all, who takes pictures of their vehicle? Do you see pics of the silver bullet (aka my lovely minivan) on this site??? Uh, no, and you never will (although I have become a minivan convert). And check the location of the truck – ON MY FRONT LAWN. Okay Mr. “steph, don’t run over the sprinkler heads when you back down the driveway” what is a half-ton pickup truck doing on our front lawn?

I know you guys think I’m joking, but I’m not. He asked me the other day to confirm the day we bought it so he could figure out how old the truck is (perhaps he is throwing it a birthday party). He washes it at least twice a week, and waxes it regularly. He changed the oil at 1500 miles for “performance” reasons, but note that he certainly didn’t volunteer to change my vehicle’s oil at 1500 miles. He volunteered to take the boys out “to the park” a few weeks ago but somehow returned with a specialty parts catalogue for the truck. When we’re in it we have to park a mile away from any other potentially door dinging cars. Any free time he has is spent on the truck, and although I haven’t caught him yet I think he might be talking to it. If he could have “relations” with it I think it’s possible he would leave me. Fortunately for me that tailpipe is pretty hot, so I’m thinking that my marriage is safe.