2007 Mother of the Year is still possible...

Following my recent plea for new music, a friend emailed me saying that she’s not sure what to send me – it seems like she never hears any new music because, being the mother of two small children, she is always listening to toddler music.

When people enter the insane realm known as parenthood, they try to convince themselves that they are going to have a certain amount of control in this new endeavor. So before their tiny bundles of joy even arrive, they make rules to help determine what type of parents they are going to be. “I won’t spank my kids”…"My kids will never eat McDonalds”…"I will let Bobby play with dolls if he wants to” etc, etc. Steph’s number one parenting rule: I will not listen to toddler music. Hey, I did the research, and realize that all of the studies say that children should be exposed to music, that it helps their little brains develop and understand math and science better. However, not a single survey specifically stated that “Mary Had A Little Lamb” would make juniors brain any more mathematically inclined than, say, “Sweet Home Alabama”. Plus there was my already questionable sanity to consider. Anyways, that was my parenting rule. I’ve stuck to it too. But, as with anything else in life, you need to be prepared to handle the consequences of your decisions. So I will share with you a story that pretty much killed any nomination I was going to get for 2006 Mother of the Year.

Back in May, we went to the library. For those without children, the library is essentially a gathering place for stressed out mothers that need an indoor arena outside of their home to exercise the children. It’s basically a romper room with bookcases for furniture. Parents go there not to read to their kids (although you do end up checking some books out for appearances sake), they go there to get a break from the kids tearing up their own homes. We were at said sanctuary back in May, and a little boy that had been playing train with Jake says to him “Hey, I can sing a song for you!” So he starts in with “Twinkle, twinkle, little star…” Then he asks “can you sing a song?” Jake looks at him and says “Oh my god, Becky. Look at her butt – it is so BIG!”

Needless to say the "Monster Booty" compilation CD was banned from the minivan shortly thereafter...