My Worst Fear

So last night Nurse Hottie and I sat down and watched the movie "Premonition". You know, the one with Sandra Bulloch where she wakes up one day and her husband dies in an accident, then wakes up the next day and he's alive...and basically she's trying to figure out what day it is and how to save her husband.

Note: In case you want to see this movie I'm not going to spoil it for you, (at least I don't think) so you can keep reading.

This movie was, quite honestly, the worst one I'd seen in a LONG time. There is probably 30 minutes of film dedicated to watching Sandra's character do laundry and clean the house. Seriously. No Bullshit. 30 minutes of this crap. Okay, cut to the point where she starts waking up on different days in time. She's at the funeral. Since she can't figure out why she's waking up one day and he's alive, the next he's dead, she does the obvious thing - yells at the funeral director to open the casket. Dammit - she wants to see the dead body! So, of course, the pall bearers "accidentally" drop the casket while taking it out of the hearse. At which point it opens and her husband's head falls out and starts rolling down the street. Again - seriously, no bullshit. This scene had me laughing my ass off. And it only got worse from there...

The disturbing part of this is that it brought up some serious fears for me (and here comes the point of this post). I find that there are moments where I am terrified for my children's safety - where it hits me really hard that something horrible could happen to them in the future and I could lose them. I do realize that protecting them and keeping them safe at all times is not a possibility (side note - if you ask either of my boys what my job is their response is "to keep us safe"). But there are times when I literally feel ill from the worry that some day I could lose them. It's not rational, but it happens to me. And pretty regularly.

So here's my question - is this normal? I know that Nurse Hottie is concerned about the safety of the boys, but he also doesn't get upset like I do. Maybe it's a mommy thing? Or maybe I need medication... :)