American Idol. My favorite show, by far, that's on TV. I know that most of you are stunned that I'm not on the show, but unfortunately I'm above the age 29 cutoff. I did do a Neil Diamond recording several years ago with Oakley that undoubtedly would have been a chart topper had it been released.
Now, without further ado, here are MY picks and pans:
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Women Who Rocked
I liked the Pink/Black haired girl's rendition of "All By Myself" - I thought she hit the note dammit! And Lakisha...there's nothing I could say that could explain how incredible her performance was last night. My only concern - can she keep up THAT level of singing throughout???
Women Who Tanked
A picture is worth a thousand words, my friends. Actually, any of the white women (except for "All By Myself") can go home, as far as I'm concerned.
The Man who Should Definitely Go Home
He's cheesy, didn't sing well at all, and for some reason thinks the Danny Bonaduce hairdo circa 1975 is a great look.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy Valentine's Day
Love, exciting and new!
Hmm, can you tell I'm in the mood to go on a cruise? I'm lobbying to make it a big family celebration for my dad's 60th birthday this year. One major problem with that - he has no desire to go on a cruise. Everyone else in the family wants to go though...and really it might be a treat for him if we all just went away on his birthday and left him here to play golf. I think I'm going to suggest it.
Kind of a random day. The slushy mix that was on the ground when we woke up is now gone due to the rain. My kids are totally confused by this winter - we haven't had any snow at all to speak of yet. Many people would say that this is due to global warming. I have a Republican husband though who thinks global warming is just in Al Gore's head. Now, if McCain or one of the other "good guys" had produced the documentary I'm sure he would change his tune. Or if somehow increasing your engine torque could benefit the environment, he'd be joining the Sierra Club.
In honor of St. V day, I shall now stop making fun of my beloved. Because, for all the things little things he does which irritate the living crap out of me, he does always make me feel special on Valentine's Day. Last night (because if he'd waited until today it would have been 9 pm before we had quiet time) he gave me my gifts. Nothing big or extravagant (uhh, he covered that at Christmas), just small things that I'd either mentioned or he knew I'd appreciate. This thoughtfulness is one of his greatest qualities.
What is really cool about this particular V day is that since they are now in school, the boys had to get Valentines for their classmates. Of course we did Spongebob valentines complete with candy krabby patties. It was a lot of fun writing them all out and getting them ready for their party - and as they get older I get more excited about these mini-holidays. Having kids allows you to be a kid again. Which, when your as childish as I am, is pretty damn cool.
Hmm, can you tell I'm in the mood to go on a cruise? I'm lobbying to make it a big family celebration for my dad's 60th birthday this year. One major problem with that - he has no desire to go on a cruise. Everyone else in the family wants to go though...and really it might be a treat for him if we all just went away on his birthday and left him here to play golf. I think I'm going to suggest it.
Kind of a random day. The slushy mix that was on the ground when we woke up is now gone due to the rain. My kids are totally confused by this winter - we haven't had any snow at all to speak of yet. Many people would say that this is due to global warming. I have a Republican husband though who thinks global warming is just in Al Gore's head. Now, if McCain or one of the other "good guys" had produced the documentary I'm sure he would change his tune. Or if somehow increasing your engine torque could benefit the environment, he'd be joining the Sierra Club.
In honor of St. V day, I shall now stop making fun of my beloved. Because, for all the things little things he does which irritate the living crap out of me, he does always make me feel special on Valentine's Day. Last night (because if he'd waited until today it would have been 9 pm before we had quiet time) he gave me my gifts. Nothing big or extravagant (uhh, he covered that at Christmas), just small things that I'd either mentioned or he knew I'd appreciate. This thoughtfulness is one of his greatest qualities.
What is really cool about this particular V day is that since they are now in school, the boys had to get Valentines for their classmates. Of course we did Spongebob valentines complete with candy krabby patties. It was a lot of fun writing them all out and getting them ready for their party - and as they get older I get more excited about these mini-holidays. Having kids allows you to be a kid again. Which, when your as childish as I am, is pretty damn cool.
Monday, February 12, 2007
You Get What You Pay For
So, one of my character traits is that I am cheap. Actually, I tend to be willing to spend exorbitant amounts of money for certain items that I think need to be high quality, but I'm a cheap ass for everything else. One thing that burns me is the fact that when you go to the eye doctor, they charge you a contact lens “fitting fee”. Even if you’ve seem the same Ophthalmologist for the past five years, they still hit you with this fee (this, my friends, is known as highway robbery). Last time I checked my iris’ stopped expanding around the 10th grade. So effectively this is just a surcharge for the convenience of wearing contact lenses. The last time I went to the eye doctor, 18 months ago, the fitting fee was around $100 – and it pissed me off. So at a recent trip to Walmart, I noticed the eye store and thought to my self “self – why don’t you go see what they charge”. So I did. Aforementioned fitting fee was $30 – so I made an appointment. Yes, I realize that this is Walmart. But in my monetarily frugal mind, I would be bringing the contact lens brand that I currently wear with me, so I wasn’t asking anyone at Walmart to truly fit me, I was just using them for a cheaper prescription.
As it turns out, my irises are indeed the same size, so no worries there. However, there was an actual eye exam performed. Let me describe said exam:
Step 1 – Goth girl takes me to get that puff of air in your eye test done. My “Eye Care Technician” spent most of the time asking me if I’d ever seen Clerks 1, Clerks 2, Dogma, and every other Kevin Smith movie ever made. I have indeed seen Clerks – approximately 10 years ago. Therefore when she started talking in great details about the characters as if they were her personal friends, I was really lost. The puff in the eye test took about ten minutes because of this. I should have just stood up and told her I voted for Bush, and I would have been in and out in 45 seconds. But not me, oh no, I try to be polite and relate to everyone…
Step 2 – Examination by an eye doctor who prolly got his medical degree back when monocles were the preferred choice in eyewear. So I then go for the actual eye exam (what is clearer – this one…or this one). As the doctor is handing me the black spoon thingy you use to cover one eye, his hand is shaking so much that a) I thought he was going to whack me in the head with the device and b) I wasn’t sure which eye he wanted me to cover first since he was waving the thing between both eyes. During the midst of this I’m desperately trying to see the year of graduation on his diploma that’s hanging on the wall, but since he has my glasses I can’t make it out. So I start asking about his practice – turns out Dr. Geezer retired for almost two years, then got tired of his wife who at the age of 77 “is starting to lose it” he decided to come back and work part-time. Oh boy. This takes approximately 45 minutes because he seems totally confused by all the newfangled devices used to conduct an eye exam. He also tells me that it’s really nice that all of us girls will get to see Hillary Clinton run, but that we shouldn’t vote for her because it’s a man’s job. Seriously. I wish I was exaggerating any portion of this exam, but I’m not.
We then go and chat with eye specialist number two, who clearly is the guide dog in the contact lens prescription write-up. Because my actual prescription did change (I actually got .5 better in each eye – something I directly attribute to no longer spending 9 hours a day five days a week in front of a computer monitor) I was required to go back a week later. Which allowed me to find a way to check the diploma date for Dr. Geezer. He was a proud graduate of Ophthalmology School in 1956. Jesus. I’m lucky he didn’t try to give me a polio shot on my way out the door.
Lesson learned – pay the freakin’ $100 contact lens fee
As it turns out, my irises are indeed the same size, so no worries there. However, there was an actual eye exam performed. Let me describe said exam:
Step 1 – Goth girl takes me to get that puff of air in your eye test done. My “Eye Care Technician” spent most of the time asking me if I’d ever seen Clerks 1, Clerks 2, Dogma, and every other Kevin Smith movie ever made. I have indeed seen Clerks – approximately 10 years ago. Therefore when she started talking in great details about the characters as if they were her personal friends, I was really lost. The puff in the eye test took about ten minutes because of this. I should have just stood up and told her I voted for Bush, and I would have been in and out in 45 seconds. But not me, oh no, I try to be polite and relate to everyone…
Step 2 – Examination by an eye doctor who prolly got his medical degree back when monocles were the preferred choice in eyewear. So I then go for the actual eye exam (what is clearer – this one…or this one). As the doctor is handing me the black spoon thingy you use to cover one eye, his hand is shaking so much that a) I thought he was going to whack me in the head with the device and b) I wasn’t sure which eye he wanted me to cover first since he was waving the thing between both eyes. During the midst of this I’m desperately trying to see the year of graduation on his diploma that’s hanging on the wall, but since he has my glasses I can’t make it out. So I start asking about his practice – turns out Dr. Geezer retired for almost two years, then got tired of his wife who at the age of 77 “is starting to lose it” he decided to come back and work part-time. Oh boy. This takes approximately 45 minutes because he seems totally confused by all the newfangled devices used to conduct an eye exam. He also tells me that it’s really nice that all of us girls will get to see Hillary Clinton run, but that we shouldn’t vote for her because it’s a man’s job. Seriously. I wish I was exaggerating any portion of this exam, but I’m not.
We then go and chat with eye specialist number two, who clearly is the guide dog in the contact lens prescription write-up. Because my actual prescription did change (I actually got .5 better in each eye – something I directly attribute to no longer spending 9 hours a day five days a week in front of a computer monitor) I was required to go back a week later. Which allowed me to find a way to check the diploma date for Dr. Geezer. He was a proud graduate of Ophthalmology School in 1956. Jesus. I’m lucky he didn’t try to give me a polio shot on my way out the door.
Lesson learned – pay the freakin’ $100 contact lens fee
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