Hold that thought for a moment. I’ll get back to that in a minute.
First, check out this picture of my girl Condi. Does she look pissed or what? Listen, say what you want about Georgie Porgie (and yes, I know I’ll catch crap because I did vote for him) but don’t pick on Condi. First – she’s smart as hell. Second – her dream job is to be the NFL commissioner. Third – she’s smart as hell. Listen, given the current administration that one is important enough to repeat. Actually, the only reason I’m posting this picture is because I laughed out loud when I saw the look on her face. I can relate to this one. Apparently whatever I’m thinking shows up on my face all the time. Tony constantly calls me out – hey what’s so funny when I’m thinking of something amusing, or what are you mad about when I’m thinking about something annoying. The thing is I don’t even realize the fact that my thought process has made its way to my facial expression. So then I’m embarrassed and have to say oh nothing. So I guess poker player is off the list of possible careers…
So, how black am I? Seriously. How does one determine blackness? It was far easier when people married and procreated in their own race. I would have been perfectly fine being either all white bread or all dark meat. But no – my parents have to do the cool 60’s interracial thing and confuse the crap out of me. Let’s review. Fact 1 – my maternal grandfather is black. Really, this one is black and white (pun intended). Fact 2 – my paternal grandparents were white. Okay, we’ve got ¾ of the puzzle solved. But maternal grandma (may she be in heaven watching Howard Stern re-runs and sipping sex on the beach as I type this) – well, that’s where things get complicated. She was definitely 100% Cape Verdean. So was her husband. Since they were the same ethnicity, they were not considered interracial. But her actual complexion was really light skinned. Interestingly enough (and this is totally normal given the mixture of the Cape Verdean population), most of her siblings were/are fairly dark. So does she count as a white or a black? Historically I have erred on the side of being conservative, so I called my self ¼ black. Which explains the nickname “Quarter Homes (homes being the derivative of Homie – of course). However my sister, the maneater, is known as “Half Cracker” to her college friends. Now how can she be a half if I’m only a quarter? Don’t even get me started on my sister BKD-H, whose wedding cake topper featured a Black man and a Puerto Rican woman.
One thing is for sure. When it came to college and scholarship applications I was all in favor of checking the black box (I don’t think they were PC enough to call it African American sixteen years ago). Actually, I may have even checked off Samoan. I didn’t have the balls to check Asian. For the record, no one did stop me from accepting my scholarship as Alaskan-Indian of the year. I’m not paying that money back either - I’m sure it’s in my gene pool somewhere.
8 comments:
LOL! You're a nut! But I still love ya! I have the same problem with wearing my expressions on my face...must be the black in us, like Condi we just can't help it. Let's not try and overanalyze our ethnicity...we might find out we're Jewish and then thats one more thing to explain to Jake.
Love-Maneater aka 1/2 Kracker
PS get to work on the insurance man for me!
PPS Did you see BKD's Return address stamp on her X-mass card??
I didn't see the envelope - do I even want to know?
Oh come on Pocahontas - you know the truth! Don't you remember when a certain triple member's parents called you out on your true ethnicity? come to the bay area where it truly is a melting pot of ethnicities. I too was confused - do I check Asian? I feel more Irish in truth... though I still shock people when they read my last name and I show up...
Oh Get it right- you are half & half. 50-50. Though G-ma may have been light skinned it didn't make her any less Cape Verdean. Remember the islands are located off the west coast of Africa.
Steph you are plenty black, I just wish you all had Mom's hair- then you WOULD NOT blink on whether you are 1/4 or half.
Okay, irish-asian triple member may be the best "posting name" I've seen yet...I'd forgotten to include the Indian descent that only K's dad seemed to know about...
BKDH - so is being black based on actual african descent (in which case I am half) and not skin color? I guess that's the question, isn't it. I know one thing - the football team always seemed surprised to see my face in the Black Students of ND guidebook (and yes, there was such at thing). I know you're going to call me out on the football team reference, but without the football team there would have been 5 black men at ND (and they all would have flocked to the other triple member :)
As a French Irish wanna-be, I don't really have a comment on the ethnicity thing. But, you forgot one very important about Condi....she is a fellow domer. She earned a masters there.
I suppose it is a question you'd have to answer for yourself.
Who gives a crap what other people think?
As for Condi... I don't think she is angry in the picture. I think that facial expression is her default expression when she isn't smiling for a camera.
... and what were thinking, voting for G. Bush? Were you ill?
haha. . .this is a great post.
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