This is wrong but...

very funny. The Will Ferrell "landlord" video that's been circling the internet lately...

http://sjl.funnyordie.com//v1/landing.php

It's over...now what do I do?

So tax season officially ended for me last night around 6:30. All the pressure, the stress, the constant worry about what I needed to get done before the deadline - all gone. So I woke up this morning, looking forward to just being a Mom again. Except I kept feeling like something wasn't right. Like I should have something I need to do. You see, I suffer from Post-Traumatic Tax Syndrome. It happens every time. With all of my free time focused on getting returns done, I have no time for anything else, no energy for anything else. Suddenly that focus is gone, and I am physically jittery from all the excess energy that has no where to go.

Well, I haven't had time to post, so here's what's been going on:

Nurse Hottie has settled on some sort of Celtic knotwork/design tattoo. He is constantly bothering, I mean, showing me different designs. At this point they all look the same to me, but my role as supportive wife deems that I act interested.

Thing One continues to have poop that amazes me. I know this because I have to see it every morning at 7:15 when my alarm goes off. The alarm sounds like this: "MOOOOOMMMM - I pooped! Mom! Mom! Mom!" If you're grossed out that I have to wake up to wipe his butt, then you don't have kids. Trust me, this is far better than the diaper days (especially when they were both in diapers). Anywho, back to the poop. It is huge. It has serious girth. He usually has to review it before flushing and decide what it looks like. Today it was an Anaconda. It's frequently an Anaconda, but sometimes it's just your regular garden variety snake. He's very proud of his poop. And apparently so am I, if I'm spending this much time writing about it.

Thing Two continues to give a rats ass about peeing in his underwear. He'll go for a week without an accident, and then piss himself three times in a day. I'm at my wits end with this process. He's 3 and a half. I've threatened, I've bribed, and I've basically given up. Thing Two 1, Mommy zero.

American Idol sucks. Okay, sucks is a bit much, but I'm bored with it. I am still enjoying Dancing with the Stars. I actually watch it because I love seeing the dances, as opposed to Nurse Hottie, who only watches it to see if Heather Mills' leg will come flying off. Oh, I also watch it because of Leila Ali's partner - he is H.O.T. And I miss Emmitt Smith (okay, so specifically I miss his arms - god I love strong arms).

Because it follows DWTS, I've been watching the Bachelor. This dude is about as cheesy as it gets. I really struggle with any man who sits around saying "I'm looking for my soulmate - I just know she's out there somewhere". Is this nice in theory? Yes. Are there soulmates? Yes. Is any man who sits around saying "I'm looking for my soulmate" quite possibly gay? Oh yes. This guy needs to stop sipping champagne, open up a bottle of beer and grow a set.

Almost There

Five more days until taxes are done. Except for our return of course. You will all be amused to hear that I got a notice from the IRS stating that we owed over $2,000 for our 2005 return (we don't - but I neglected to include one form which is what caused the notice). Nurse Hottie, as expected, was not so excited to see that his accounting wife got us a tax notice. For some reason he thinks I'm supposed to get that sort of thing right...

Tattoo You

For some unknown reason Nurse Hottie and I have both been thinking of getting tattoos.

Now, before you get all hyped up into either "Oh, I love tattoos" or "Oh, it's so trashy" mode, wait just a second. We haven't actually gotten them, nor do I think I'll actually go through with it. First and foremost, I am a complete wuss, and as I understand it getting a tattoo can be quite painful. So let's face it, chances of me actually getting one - rather slim.

As for Nurse Hottie - well, I have no problem at all if he wants to get one on his arm - I don't think it's skanky, or trashy, I actually think it would be pretty cool. Dependent upon one rather large factor - what it is. And that is truly the reason for today's post.

If you know him, you know he is an extremely obsessive person (think about the truck). Which means that he's probably spent 100 hrs online in the last 10 days looking at tattoo pictures. This is what happens at night in the ER. People are dying, and my husband is online trying to find a picture of his family crest to see if it would make a good tattoo. For the record, I officially vetoed the family crest tattoo (it was really not that cool). And I found myself a bit hurt - hey, it he's permanently marking his body, shouldn't it have something to do with me? Or Thing One and Two? Or the glory of marriage to me? Or perhaps a reminder to him to close cabinet and closet doors (sorry - pet peeve of mine).

So last night I started giving him ideas for tattoos - things that he loves and have meaning to him...

A Quarter Pounder with Cheese and a Large Fry (because they are responsible for the extra 15 pounds he's been carrying around the past 6 months) alternate tattoo - the golden arches - cheaper, and easier to render.

The Lyrics to any Air Supply Song (this would have to be done on his chest). Okay, I wouldn't say he loves Air Supply - this one is for me. Only because an air supply song came on while we were discussing this, and I realized that it would pretty much guarantee that he could never be unfaithful, since any woman who would see this would think that he was gay. Downside - the gay male nurses he works with would be hitting on him. Wait - I think that might be an upside - at least it would amuse the hell out of me.

A Picture of Me...naked. There is no upside to this one - it was his suggestion. See what I'm dealing with???

And of course, last but certainly not least, a picture of his truck.

Suggestions anyone?