I'm Baaaackkk!

Okay, so it's been awhile...and people are starting to wonder what is going on. The truth is I met another man online and left my husband and kids to go live with him. He's a Hungarian opera singer who enjoys sushi, long walks on the beach, and laughter. Then I found out my long lost identical twin sister needed a kidney transplant, so I was laid up after the operation. You believe me, right?

No? Fine, fine, you got me. The real truth isn't nearly so interesting though. I stopped blogging because I just had way to much other crap on my plate. You know, perhaps "crap on my plate" isn't a great expression to use - sounds kinda gross. My priorities were re-aligned, or is it re-adjusted...maybe re-focused? UHH, I'm so out of practice with this writing thing. Plus I haven't thought about what I was going to say so you're getting "stream of conscious Steph" which can be a very, very, ugly thing.

So what's been going on around here? Well Thing 1 is officially a Kindgergartener. I offer up my praises to the superintendant and whoever else is responsible for our town having full day Kindergarten. Yes, my son gets on the bus at 8:50 am and doesn't return home until 3:50 pm...and it is a beautiful thing! He loves school, his teacher, and his new friends. Thing 2 is attending preschool (also held at our local elementary school) and gets to ride the short bus from our home to school in the afternoon. Yes my friends, I get 3 HOURS TO MYSELF four days a week. 12 HOURS OF BLISS!!! Except...

That my CPA workload has gotten quite heavy lately. This is good (think cold hard cash) but bad (think very dirty house). But at least I now have some time to be a professional without having to worry about anyone screaming for another Capri Sun in the background...

Nurse Hottie is still both a nurse and hot. He's become quite obsessed with a game called "World of Warcraft" and when he's not doing that, he's driving around the area looking at boats. See, he's been trying to convince me that we need to buy one. He has me pretty well worn down, because although I know he'll be spending all sorts of money on "boat crap" it's something we can do as a family so it won't irritate me as much as money spent on "truck crap".

That's all for now. I promise I won't take as long to post again.

I hope...

I hope my friend that is expecting her 3rd child goes into labor ASAP.

I hope that Thing 2 realizes that the odds of me finding a birthday cake that features both Pooh Bear and a giant monster on it are slim to none.

I hope that my fear of driving over large bridges doesn't get any worse.

I hope that ND crushes BC this year, since my sister just gave my dad tix for that game as his birthday present.

I hope that Thing 1 always dances with the fervor that he demonstrated last night.

I hope my aunt's cancer has gone away.

I hope that my hairdresser doesn't actually carry out her threat to make me bald the next time she cuts my hair.

I hope this insomnia I've been suffering from as of late goes away.

I hope Nurse Hottie's tires and wheels come in soon...and that he's able to keep his promise to stop obsessing about "his mistress" (for at least a few weeks - I am realistic!).

I hope Nurse Hottie and I still look at each other after 40 yrs together the way my parents looked at each other last night.

Note for those who don't know me - yes, that's me slow dancing with Thing 1. My parents are dancing to the left of me - I could have cropped it but I wanted to keep the picture with them in there as well.

Weekly Rantings and Ravings

I think this should be a weekly segment. God knows I'm always bitching about something... :)

1. Thing 2 will be FOUR in August. Yet he continues to pee himself on a semi-regular basis. Since he has gone as long as week at a time not wetting himself, I know this is pure LAZINESS. I've bribed, I've rewarded, I've taken away, I've time-outed and quite frankly, I'm tired of it. But as a parent I'm not allowed to say WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??? I'M FREAKIN' TIRED OF WASHING 42 PAIRS OF UNDERWEAR EACH WEEK! Which is what I am thinking. Every time he pees his pants.

2. Aside from the fact that she threatens to disinherit me on a semi-weekly basis, my mother is a fairly intelligent woman. So will someone tell me why she refuses to trust direct deposit??? My mother spends a lot of time in Atlantic City these days perfecting her second career as a professional gambler. So when she's out of town she then expects me to deposit her paychecks for her. And when I forget...well, let's just say that I'm probably going to be disinherited again this week.

3. I have diagnosed Thing 1 with CFD. What's that, you ask? It stands for "Can't Follow Directions". We're not talking difficult directions either. Example - an hour ago I say to him, in preparation for bedtime, what I say to him every night. "Take off your shorts and put them in the hamper". And, like he does every night, he takes off his shorts and underwear and then looks puzzled when I indicate that he doesn't need to sleep commando style. So then he picks up the underwear, twirls them around, does a few random circles, until I finally yell "PUT THOSE ON". Which leads me to Rant item 4.

4. Why, Why, WHY do my children only take me seriously when I yell at them? I repeat myself constantly, all day long, and it pisses me off that I need to yell to get their attention. I love them, but honestly, WHY?

What's Your Theme Song

My sister asked Garth Brooks this question a few years ago, and since then I've always thought it was a pretty interesting question. In my opinion, everyone has two different theme songs at any point in time. The first is the music you would want to hear played as you entered a room. For Sista ND (who posed the question) her song would be "Superstitious" by Stevie Wonder. I think I'd like to have "Running with the Devil" by Van Halen play as I enter a room.

My other theme song has been much harder for me to identify. This is the song that has lyrics which capture who you are, or where you're at. Obviously this song is different depending on where you are in the journey of life. Recently a friend of mine observed that had it been out when we were in college, "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" by Big and Rich would have been a good theme song for us.

So what is my theme song these days? I'm still not sure. These lyrics capture the past week or so:

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
It's just overkill

From "Overkill" by Men at Work

Then again, last night I heard these lyrics while driving last night and identified with them:

I see my folks, they're getting old, I watch their bodies change...
I know they see the same in me, And it makes us both feel strange...
No matter how you tell yourself, It's what we all go through...
Those eyes are pretty hard to take when they're staring' back at you.
Scared you'll run out of time.

Chorus
------
When did the choices get so hard?
With so much more at stake.
Life gets mighty precious when there's less of it to waste.
Hummmm...Scared she'll run out of time.

From "Nick of Time" by Bonnie Raitt

However I don't consider either of these to be my theme song. I'm still searching for one...

So I leave you with the obvious question - what are your theme songs?

Random Musical Thoughts

What is a Hollaback Girl?

What does HOVA mean (H to the izzo, V to the izzay - yeah, I'm probably totally screwing this line up - but if you don't recognize the line, you definitely won't be able to help me with this one)?

Just wondering.

Lyric comprehension hasn't ever really been my strong suit. In fact, I spent most of my childhood thinking Jimmy Buffett stepped on a poptart in Margaritaville, and that Kenny Rogers had "four hundred children and a crop and a field" to take care of after Lucille left his ass. In fact, I only realized it was hungry instead of hundred a few years ago.

You know, I'm not really sure why my parents even owned a Kenny Rogers album. My mother was only in her thirties when I was a teen, and given her whole strong semi-black woman thing the majority of her albums were of the Michael Jackson variety. My friends thought it was so cool that my Mom owned the Thriller album. And the soundtrack to "Breakin'". I don't think she ever actually listened to these things, I think it was her way of counteracting the ownership of the aforementioned Kenny Rogers album.

I'm feeling the urge to confess to the world that I do own greatest hits CD's from both Neil Diamond and Barry Manilow. Oh crap - and Air Supply too. Suddenly I feel like I'm in the church confessional. Forgive me father, for I have purchased soft rock. And country, and rap, one CD from that blind opera dude, and a number of those "Now That's What I Call Music" CD's.

What can I say - I'm a musical schizo. As further proof I give you my last five itunes purchases (and this is straight off the purchased playlist):

Hole Hearted - Extreme
Overkill - Men at Work
You Can Do It - Ice Cube
Ridin' - Chamillionaire and Krayzie Bone
If Everyone Cared - Nickelback

What's This Blog All About

Yeah, I don't know either.

I started blogging late last year as a way to share pics/stories with my friends and family that don't live nearby. Or at least that's what I said. The fact is that I really started it as something to do. My grandmother was near death (in fact she died within a week of my first post) and I needed a distraction. Losing her daily presence in my life has been the hardest thing I've ever faced. I knew it would be hard, I knew it was coming, and so I tried to find ways to occupy myself. So that's really the reason I started blogging.

After tax season I found myself with some free time, so I started checking out other blogs. I've found a lot of cool stuff out there. This seems to be the internet medium for the 30-somethings (probably because we're too old for the Myspace). There's are mommy bloggers, political bloggers, and issue bloggers. There are people who are writing to make you laugh and people who are writing to make you think. So this leads to the question I've been asking - what kind of blogger am I?

A schizophrenic one, I think.

It's confusing to try to categorize yourself. I think that while I'm fairly open about who I am in real life, the fact is that even amongst my friends I have different facets that I share. Generally I like to laugh. A lot. So I don't know any of my friends that I don't share that aspect of myself with. But I'm also serious. As someone who had given up religion a few years back, lately I find myself truly trying to figure out what I believe. So I'm trying to self-educate - not just about religions, but about politics and history. After a painful foot injury, I'm trying to become more physically active again. I'm confident, but lately I've been hesitant in social situations. I'm a lot of things wrapped up in one body - but then again, aren't we all?

I'm rambling here. When I sat down to write tonight I had about four totally different ideas about what I could post about - and as a result this is what emerged.